Professor's Kiss: A Second Chance, Bully Romance. (Irish Kiss Book 2) Read online

  “What the hell do you want from me, Danny?” I cried, throwing my arms out to the side before letting them slap against my sides as the energy drained out of me.

  “I want…” he shifted his weight, “I want you to come back to my apartment and help me with this song.”

  “Is that it?” I asked. “That’s all you want?”

  He frowned. “What else is there?”

  I closed my eyes and let my head roll back so that I was facing the sky. Why, Lord? Why would you give me this connection with this man?

  “We talked about this,” he said, sounding frustrated, “we both agreed that this couldn’t go anywhere. I mean, look at me.” He slapped his chest with his palms. “I can’t give you hearts and flowers. I can’t give you a fucking future even if I—”

  Even if I wanted to.

  My heart squeezed so hard that it hurt. Not because he didn’t want a future with me. I knew that already. I knew that going in and I believed him when he said it. I wasn’t so low in self-worth that I would accept a relationship with a man who couldn’t give me that, eventually.

  It hurt because I realised that Danny couldn’t love anyone. He didn’t even love himself.

  “Of course, that’s what we agreed,” I said. “But that’s not what I want from you.”

  “Then what the hell do you want from me?”

  “I just want to know the truth. Your truth. I just want…something real from you, Danny. Not for tomorrow. Not for a lifetime. Just for right now.”

  “Real? Real?” he yelled. “What do I look like, a ghost? A figment of your imagination?”

  I stared at him, realising that I had been chasing just that. I shook my head and dropped my gaze. I didn’t have any strength left to argue any more.

  “I’m going home,” I said.

  I expected him to argue. To demand again that I go with him. But he didn’t. Perhaps he was resigned, too.

  “I’ll walk you home.”

  “No. I don’t want to speak to you right now.”

  “I’m still not letting you walk home alone.”

  “Suit yourself. But you’re not walking with me.”

  I turned and walked away, my steps heavy. I could feel Danny’s presence behind me, could hear his footsteps following me.

  This time as we walked through the streets of Dublin, he said nothing. Neither did I. We were connected by nothing more than the echo of our footsteps.

  He walked behind me all the way to my apartment building. I thought about calling thank you over my shoulder but was afraid that if I opened my mouth I might… I don’t know. Scream, instead. Cry. Beg him to come in?

  So I entered my building without a word to him.

  As I reached my apartment I heard the footsteps on the stairs behind me and knew he’d followed me in. I sighed, preparing myself for another confrontation.

  I gripped the key in my hand and pressed my forehead against my door. God, give me strength. I would not unlock the door while he was still here. I didn’t want to fight anymore. But he was not coming in. I could not let him in.

  “Danny…”

  “Do you remember the day when you told me that you weren’t going to live?”

  I let out a long breath. “Like it was yesterday.”

  “After that…I prayed to God for the first time in a long time. I told him, begged him, that he could take anything from me—anything—as long as I got to keep you. He could take away my voice, my sight, my music. Anything.”

  I turned towards Danny, stunned. The raw pain in his eyes tore me apart.

  “Turned out that God listened to me,” he said, his voice growing bitter. “He played the worst joke on me. He took…” Danny choked.

  Realisation struck me like a hammer to the forehead.

  God took his mother in exchange for me.

  “Oh, shit,” I breathed.

  “She died so you got to live. My mother, the only real family I had. The only person who loved me. How was it fair that I got to keep you but lost her? How was it right that I had to pay such a price? So I hated you. I hated you because I loved you so much. I hated you because the part of me that loved you so damn much wanted to bear the price of losing her. I blamed you because it was easier to blame you than to accept responsibility for what I had done.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, Danny,” I cried.

  He scowled at me, the hatred bleeding into his eyes, turning them dark. “Wasn’t it? What kind of son sacrifices his own mother? What kind of man would be glad to give up his flesh and blood in order to keep the girl he loved?”

  I shook my head, speechless.

  Suddenly I understood.

  His bullying. The way he was. The contempt with which he held the world was really his very own lens turned on himself. His perception smudged with dirt and guilt. Tarnished by self-hatred.

  His hot and cold. How his sweetness would turn to ash. His tender caresses to cold, sharp words.

  “Then I played the biggest joke on myself,” he said softly. “I pushed you away. Again and again, Dearg. I hurt you and I hated you and I hated that I hurt you. Until I got what I wanted. I lost you, too.”

  My heart broke for him. Each cruel word, each taunt in my memory now coated in a new light. That final piece inside me that had never forgiven him…it let go.

  “I was meant to be alone, Ailis,” he said, his voice as broken as the boy who stood before me. He never looked more like the Danny I once fell in love with than in this moment.

  Mind made up, I reached for his hand, sliding my fingers in between his. “Not tonight, you aren’t.”

  57

  ____________

  Danny

  I let her pull me into her bedroom. I followed for once, letting her lead. She turned to me slowly as I closed the door behind us.

  “My housemate won’t be back for another few days,” she explained. The side lamp was on, casting a warm glow across her flushed cheeks.

  I nodded. It was the first time I’d been in her bedroom, in her apartment. I may have taken more notice of my surroundings if I could tear my eyes off her. A marching band might have moved through her apartment right now and I wouldn’t have cared.

  She moved towards me, her hands coming up to tug at the hem of my jumper. I lifted my arms and let her undress me. I felt each item of clothing come off.

  I undressed her, peeling off each item of clothing, kissing the creamy skin I exposed, revelling in the goosebumps that travelled across her body and the shiver that shook her.

  Until we were standing in front of each other naked.

  She turned around to climb on the bed on all fours. She’d noticed that I only ever fucked her from behind. Something about this made me sad. For some reason, this felt…wrong right now.

  I grabbed her arm to stop her. She looked back at me over her shoulder.

  “Lie on your back,” I said, my voice box strangely tight.

  She blinked once, then nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed and sliding up the pristine white bed cover until she rested her head on the pillow, her hair like a silken frame round her head.

  She looked like a damn angel. Lying on white snow.

  When I crawled onto the bed over her, I found my arms were shaking. When I lowered myself along her body, my mouth had gone dry.

  Our bodies melded together, my hard length trapped between our bodies, and I let out a low groan. She felt like…salvation.

  I leaned down and kissed her, slanting my open mouth over hers, sliding my tongue between her lips. Slow and deep. A promise of what was to come.

  She moaned around my tongue. Then met me with hers. Her hips coming up, rolling up so that her clit slid along me.

  The groans that came out of us were louder now. Usually I’d be inside her by now. But I wasn’t in a rush. This felt too good. Right here. Right now. Just kissing her, feeling her body under me, knowing what was coming.

  She kept rolling her hips slowly, in time to the languid strokes of my tongue insi
de her mouth until she was whimpering.

  I shifted my body, releasing my dick from between us and letting it fall between her legs. Then I shifted myself so that I pressed up against her entrance. She was so damn wet the tip of me slid into her.

  “Oh, God,” she breathed.

  Pleasure coursed through my body like wildfire, obliterating any thought. She tilted her hips as I slid in a little farther.

  Then I remembered…

  “Shit. Condom,” I hissed. “I don’t have any.”

  I could have kicked my own ass. I was such an idiot. I’d left my apartment so abruptly earlier that I hadn’t thought to bring any. I thought I would bring her back to mine. I never imagined we’d end up at her apartment in her bed.

  “I’m on the pill,” she whispered. “And I’m clean.”

  I blinked. Was she really giving me permission to fuck her bare? My cock ached at the thought.

  “I’ve never had unprotected sex,” I blurted out.

  “Oh.” Her face tightened. “If you don’t want to, then we don’t—”

  “No. I want to.” Dear God, how I wanted to. “I’m just letting you know that I’m clean, too.”

  Up on my elbows, I gazed down at her. The warm lamp light catching on the gold in her hair fanning across the pillow, her cheeks flushed. How had I not noticed the flecks of amber in her eyes before? Or the light dusting of freckles across her nose?

  Slowly, I slid inside her.

  It felt so good. So right. Like…home.

  I moved my hips, pulling out of her slowly, feeling every inch of her tight wet pussy.

  Fucking heaven.

  She let out a groan and her eyelids flicked shut.

  “Look at me, Ailis.”

  She opened her eyes. I didn’t miss the surprise in her irises.

  I moved in and out of her like a slow melody. Her legs wrapped around my waist, shifting the angle of her hips, letting me sink in deeper. My hands shifted under her head, cupping her head. Her hand curled around my head, holding me just there.

  I felt her tighten around me. Only then did my thrusts became harder, faster.

  “Oh, God, Danny,” she cried. “Don’t stop.”

  I kissed her. I wanted to taste my name on her tongue. To suck every single last one of her moans like a song from her lips.

  I felt her pussy clench around me and she tore her mouth off mine, letting out a cry. A perfect crescendo.

  The pleasure drew in from my fingertips, imploding into my lower belly. Hard. So intense it was almost painful. Then like a dying star, its energy burning up, it turned to dust.

  I half collapsed, resting my forehead on hers, her breath in time with mine. Our chests pressing against each other’s like a heartbeat.

  “Holy shit,” I breathed, “that was…”

  “…intense,” she finished for me.

  “Yeah.”

  I knew in that moment, I was lost to her.

  She had won. I had no defenses left.

  58

  ____________

  Ailis

  I woke up with a smile on my face and reached out across the sheets for Danny. My hand touched only air. My eyes snapped open to find the other side of the bed empty.

  The bottom dropped out of my stomach. He left. He just…left.

  A clatter from somewhere in my apartment made me start. Then kickstarted my happiness again.

  He was still here.

  I leapt out of bed and threw on the closest item of clothing I could find—his large black t-shirt. It smelled like him. Musky, male and so delicious. I lifted the collar to my nose so I could breathe it in properly. Fucking hell. If I could bottle this scent, I’d sell it to women all over the world and make a billion dollars.

  Another clatter came from outside my bedroom.

  I pulled my hair out of the collar and went looking. I found Danny, barefoot, wearing only his jeans low on his hips, revealing that gorgeous V and his perfectly muscled back, in my kitchen. Damn, he looked good.

  The kitchen didn’t, though. Cupboard doors open, fry pan on the stove, bowls and plates scattered on the counters, the toaster out and crumbs everywhere.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “What does it look like I’m doing?” he snapped without looking back at me.

  “Making a mess.” I bit my lip so that the laugh wouldn’t tumble out. I didn’t think it would be appreciated now.

  Danny shot me a quick scowl over his shoulder. “I’m making breakfast.”

  Danny was making me breakfast. Breakfast. He could barely make himself toast. It was so adorable and he looked so damn sexy I wanted to cry.

  “Danny,” I said softly as I approached him, “maybe you should step away from the stove and let me—”

  “Ow, fuck!” Danny snatched his hand away from the frying pan, shaking his fingers, letting out a string of curses under his breath.

  I felt bad for him, really, I did. But it was kinda funny and really cute.

  I grabbed his wrist, tugging him to the kitchen sink. I turned on the cold water and stuck his fingers underneath it.

  “Hold them there for at least ten minutes.”

  He let out a grunt. But he stayed as I told him to.

  I assessed the kitchen. It looked like he was trying to make a full Irish breakfast. Eggs were beaten, butter was out, bread waiting in the toaster. Tomatoes washed and four hash browns already in the oven.

  “At least you figured out the oven,” I said with a teasing tone to my voice.

  He let out another grunt, but he kept his glaring focus on his fingers under the running water.

  I set to work to finish what he started. It was totally salvageable. In ten minutes, the tomatoes had been grilled, the toast buttered on plates, and the eggs and hash browns almost done.

  “How’s your finger?” I asked as I was serving up the final items onto our plates.

  He didn’t respond.

  When I looked over he was just staring at me, a strange look on his face.

  I blinked. “What?”

  His gaze ran down the entire length of my body, then all the way back up. I felt it like a heated caress all the way from the top of my head to my curling toes.

  “Shirt,” he managed.

  “Oh. Yeah,” I said, “I borrowed your shirt. Sorry. I can give it back to you if you like.”

  He shook his head. And just kept looking at me.

  O-kay then.

  I pushed a too-bright smile onto my face and grabbed the plates. “Breakfast is ready.”

  I practically ran out of the kitchen to get away from his too-intense stare. I placed the plates on the table and turned back so I could grab cutlery and condiments. Danny walked out of the kitchen looking hot as hell, holding the very things I turned around to get.

  Danny shot me a smirk. “What? I’m not completely useless.”

  We sat at my dining room table side by side, eating, his knee pressed against mine. A comfortable silence hugging us both.

  In that silence there was a tiny dangerous seed of hope, slipping into the crack in my heart. One that would start to grow, to take root in my heart.

  I shouldn’t have let it. It would destroy me when he tore it out.

  59

  ____________

  Ailis

  A knock came on the door while Danny was in the shower. I threw on a bathrobe and tightened it, wondering who the hell would be at the door and how fast could I get rid of them.

  I should have just left it.

  I should have pretended I wasn’t home.

  Instead, like an eejit, I threw open the door.

  There was Ethan standing there, looking worse for wear.

  Oh shit. It took me an extra second to school my features into one of calm and force a smile. “Ethan. W-what are you doing here?”

  Ethan let out a sigh. “Good, you’re alive.”

  I tightened the bathrobe around me and leaned against the frame in case he wanted to come in. Dear God, p
lease don’t let him want to come in.

  “You didn’t have to come here.”

  Ethan raised an eyebrow. “You disappeared last night and wouldn’t answer your phone.”

  Shit. My phone. He must have called me when Danny and I were…busy.

  “Sorry, I didn’t hear my phone.”

  “It started going to message bank this morning.”

  “The battery must have died…” I forgot about my phone, forgot to put it on charge. I forgot about everything when I was wrapped up in Danny’s arms. “I didn’t even think you’d be worried. Sorry, Ethan.”

  Ethan glanced past my shoulder. I reacted by closing the door against my side. Shit. Did he hear the water in the shower?

  Ethan gave me a knowing look. “You left with someone. He’s in there with you, isn’t he?”

  I swallowed. There was no point in lying. The only thing I could do was to shrug it off and hope Ethan respected my privacy enough to let it go.

  “It’s no one. Just some guy from the bar.”

  Ethan’s face grew hard and a snarl lifted at his lips. “Funny how Professor O’Donaghue also disappeared when you did.”

  Oh. Fuck.

  “He’s in there, isn’t he? That’s him in the shower, isn’t it?”

  Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

  “I… No—”

  “Don’t lie to me, Lish. I’m not completely stupid.”

  Shit. Shit shit shit.

  “You’d risk your scholarship for a meaningless one-night stand? Fuck, what’s going to happen in class?” He searched my eyes. His face broke out in a realisation. “This isn’t just a one-night thing, is it? The way he looks at you in class…the way he picks on you…it’s all for show, isn’t it? You’re fucking him on the regular. This is why you and I—” Pain flashed across Ethan’s face.

  Shit fuck shit. I was a horrible person. Guilt crashed around in my body.

  “I’m sorry.” I was sorry. Sorry that I was doing this reckless thing with my professor. Sorry that I’d hurt a friend.

  “Jesus.” Ethan ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes darting over my shoulder as if he expected Danny to just walk out any second. “I mean, I know he’s hot and all but shit, ’Lish. What are you doing?”