The Cassidy Brothers Read online

  She was silent when I finished, a meaningful look on her face.

  “You look like you don’t believe me,” I said.

  She pursed her lips. “You’re making a lot of assumptions about his thoughts. Maybe you should talk things out with him.”

  I let out a snort. “I’m surprised that you have so much faith in him, considering the way he’s been treating you since you arrived.”

  Orla gave me a cute little half-smile. “Oh, he’s being a gobshite alright. But I still think he deserves the benefit of the doubt from you. Family is so important. You don’t know…it could be taken away from you at any time.” Her voice grew quiet and her eyes misted over. “You shouldn’t waste your time together with petty squabbles.”

  I knew that we weren’t just talking about my relationship with Aogán anymore. “I don’t think I ever got the chance to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your parents,” I said. If she was surprised by the change of topic, she didn’t show it.

  “Thanks. I think the worst part is that the last time I saw them, I argued with my dad. It was stupid, just a petty fight. I can’t even remember what it was about now. It would have blown over quickly. But we never got the chance for that to happen. We never made up. They left the house that night and never came back.”

  My heart almost broke at the hitch in her voice.

  “I think about it more than I should,” she admitted. “I know we had a great relationship, but I can’t help lingering on the last encounter we ever had. I try not to dwell on the past, not to let it bring me down, but I’ll always hate that we ended things like that.”

  With my free hand, I turned her shoulders so she was facing me straight on, the fingers of our other hands still intertwined. Orla’s eyes widened as she tilted her head back to look up at me.

  I brushed a strand of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “You’re the strongest woman I know, you know that?”

  Orla’s tongue darted out to wet her lips, my eyes latching onto the action. Being so close to her, every nerve in my body came to life. Warmth spread in my lower stomach, moving all through my body.

  “I don’t feel strong,” she whispered, pain etching across her face. Pain I would do anything to take away. “You have no idea how weak I’ve been.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second,” I said fiercely.

  Orla looked into my eyes for the longest moment. We had no guards up. No shields made of banter and light-hearted fun. No jokes to avoid the enormity of what was happening between us. It was her and I.

  And I fell.

  I fell right into her.

  Our lips met, a slow and tentative touch. Her trembling lips were soft, like satin, and I was already addicted to them. She smelled like vanilla and tasted like honey.

  We tasted each other, slowly. Teasingly. Our fingers tracing lightly across each other’s skin.

  Slowly, the softness became harder, more insistent, as need took over. She parted her lips for me and I slid my tongue into her mouth, my head spinning at her sweet taste and the touch of her tongue. My touch was firmer now. Needy. I brought my hand to the back of her neck, holding her in place. She moaned into me, her frantic hands matching mine as they explored my body.

  I wanted more. All of her. Her lips, her body, her…

  Her heart.

  A shrill beep sounded behind me, making us jolt, breaking our kiss. Spinning around, I found the source of the devil noise. The egg timer on the counter.

  “Oh, the cake!”

  Orla grabbed an oven mitt and pulled the cake out of the oven. The top of the round cake was covered with silicone paper, but when she pulled it back, I could see golden brown.

  “Christmas cake?” Tristan asked, walking into the kitchen.

  Orla smiled at Tristan, and the two of them bent their heads over the steaming cake smelling like Christmas, talking about how she was going to decorate it. Tristan, as always, was insisting he help.

  I would have resented Tristan monopolising Orla in that moment, but I could see the way he was opening up around her. Talking more. Smiling more. Even hanging around the house with us more rather than disappearing in that damn pole barn the way he always did.

  My cock throbbed. Fuck. Okay, maybe I did resent him a little as I realised that things wouldn’t go further with Orla today. I was going to need a cold shower tonight.

  Orla

  When I lived with my foster father, I always felt like my every move was scrutinised. It never mattered what I did, how I tried to follow his rules, he always found a reason in his warped mind to yell at me. I was on edge constantly for those three years.

  Now, as I walked out the front door of the Cassidy house and into the cool air, I relished the freedom of doing so. I didn’t have to worry about someone badgering me about where I was going or what I was doing. I didn’t have to be afraid. It was something I promised myself I’d never take for granted again.

  Or Christmas.

  And warm coats.

  And beautiful men playing beautiful music.

  It didn’t matter that my time here was limited, I was going to revel in every single moment while it lasted.

  Because once Christmas was over, this would be over.

  No matter. I had a plan. I’d ask the boys if I could catch a ride with them to Dublin and get a job there as soon as I could. Maybe Donncha would let me sleep on his couch until I got a place of my own. I think he would. My cheeks flushed as I remembered our kiss. I pushed this aside. I couldn’t get caught up in this. I had a new life to think about. I had to put little her or him before my feelings.

  I headed out across the lawn, bundled up in Tristan’s coat, which he’d insisted I keep. I was craving space and fresh air. The woods loomed ahead and now that the snow was melting, I could see a familiar path through the trees.

  I followed the trail, weaving through bare trees and the occasional evergreen. The sky overhead was a bright, cloudless blue and the late afternoon sun shone brightly. I couldn’t have asked for a better day to take a walk. I needed to clear my head.

  That kiss.

  My head was still reeling, my lips tingling when I replayed the magical moment in my mind. Not since my first kiss with Aogán had anyone affected me like that.

  I hadn’t meant for it to happen. I told myself it couldn’t happen again. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking about Donncha. He had a way of immediately putting me at ease with his amiable personality. But he was deeper than that. Listening to him opening up to me about his resentment toward Aogán made me feel connected to him in a whole new way. In the past, Donncha had been like a big brother who I always got into trouble with. Now I was seeing him in a whole new light. My growing feelings for him were laced with guilt, because I was still drawn to Aogán and Tristan as well. What was wrong with me?

  I looked up and saw that my feet had followed the path while my mind was elsewhere. I heard running water and realised where I was right away. Stepping off the path, I carefully made my way through the trees, avoiding tree roots and limbs that obstructed my route until I reached a clearing with a creek.

  The shallow water was the home to frogs in the summertime. I had spent many afternoons here with the Cassidy brothers, trying to catch the jumping amphibians. We made a game out of it, competing to see who could get one first. I was usually the winner, being the smallest and quickest.

  We spent hours splashing around in the water barefoot with our pants rolled up to the knee. When the frogs were all scared away, the four of us would sit in the grass beside the creek, munching on wild strawberries that we stole from the neighbour’s patch down the road. Life was so simple back then.

  Moving closer to the creek, I noticed that it was deeper than usual because of the melting snow, but it still wouldn’t reach my knees if I were standing in it. Not that I would. It was sure to be ice cold.

  I took a step without looking to check my footing. The bottom of my worn boot slipped right off of a slick rock at the edge of t
he water. I let out a startled gasp and flailed my arms around, but it was useless. I was teetering on one foot, with no hope of regaining my balance.

  I was heading for the rocky bottom of the creek. This was going to hurt. I slammed my eyes shut and instinctively threw my hands out in front of me to catch my fall. But it didn’t happen.

  A pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist, jerking me forward into a solid chest. I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I had been holding and opened my eyes.

  Intense blue orbs stared down at me. I felt my pulse quicken when I realised that I was pressed against Aogán. He seemed to become aware of our closeness at the same time I did, because he withdrew from me quickly, dropping his arms from around me as he stepped backward. I missed the contact immediately.

  “Are you trying to get hurt?” His face twisted into a scowl, but I thought I saw a fleeting look of concern in his eyes.

  “What are you doing out here?” I asked.

  “What are you doing out here?” he retorted.

  “Wait…did you follow me?”

  Aogán made an indistinct noise in the back of his throat that sounded like a grunt before he turned around and stomped away, leaving me alone in the clearing.

  He had followed me.

  But why?

  He hated me. Wanted me gone.

  But…he had followed me out here. He saved me from a frozen dip in the creek. He’d been angry that I’d almost hurt myself. And the way he’d looked at me when I’d been in his arms…it was the same way he’d looked at me that night three years ago right before he’d kissed me.

  Why would he be so cruel to me if he wanted to kiss me?

  I stood there feeling like an eejit as I tried to decipher Aogán’s feelings for me. Hot. Cold. Push. Pull. His behaviour was driving me crazy.

  But I couldn’t deny the way my heartbeat climbed when he held me. I couldn’t deny that I would have kissed him right back if he had.

  I couldn’t lie. I wanted Aogán now as much as I did three years ago.

  The only question was…did he want me?

  Orla

  I brushed dust off the top of a big box with the words Xmas Tree Decorations written on the side in black marker. Pulling open the flaps, I looked down at an assortment of delicate ornaments. They were red and green, silver and gold. Angels and shepherds, balls and snowflakes. Right on top, wrapped in three layers of bubble wrap, was a large star for the top that looked like it was made out of glass.

  “Here,” Aogán grunted at me, putting a second box on the floor next to me, avoiding my eyes. We hadn’t talked about the near-kiss at the creek yesterday. In fact, we’d barely spoken at all, Aogán clearly avoiding me until he couldn’t.

  “More decorations?” I said. “I don’t know if they’ll all fit on the tree.”

  Aogán shrugged like he really didn’t care.

  “Of course they will,” Donncha said from his spot at the hearth, where he was building a fire. “But we should start with the lights.”

  I glanced over to the corner of the room where Tristan was working to untangle a mass of multi-coloured lights. “How’s it going over there?” I called out.

  He glowered, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

  “I think poor Tristan’s having a hard time of it,” Donncha teased.

  “I’ll trade jobs with you,” Tristan said.

  Donncha shook his head in response. “No way. You agreed to tackle that mess, now you’re stuck with it.”

  I smiled, enjoying their banter. It wasn’t easy to get them all to agree to do this together, but I’d pulled it off. Just like when they’d played music together, the guys slipped into comfortable conversation after a few moments, making me believe that they were always capable of it if they just relaxed around each other.

  Donncha finished arranging the logs over the paper and kindling and lit a match. The fire roared to life, warming the room right away and giving the space a cozy feeling. I grabbed five stockings out of one of the boxes of decorations and started hanging them along the mantle. Each one was embroidered with a name of a member of the Cassidy family: John, Lana, Aogán, Donncha, and Tristan.

  “Don’t worry,” Donncha said, standing beside me, his arm brushing mine causing tingles to go up and down my arm, “we’ll get you one to hang up there.”

  The way that he willingly offered me a place on their mantle meant more to me than I could express. The others didn’t argue with his statement, not even Aogán.

  “Got it,” Tristan cried out with triumph. We all turned to look at him. There was a quiet moment.

  “Tris, you’ve only freed one strand.” Donncha broke the silence.

  I suppressed a giggle as Tristan shot him a dirty look.

  “Shut yer hole,” he grumbled, picking up the remaining bundle of lights and ducking his head to look closely at the mess that he still had to work through.

  “Oh jaysus, I’ll help ye. Otherwise you’ll be here all week.” Donncha walked over and plopped down on the couch beside him. He started helping Tristan, and I felt like my heart grew two sizes as I watched them working together. Aogán, on the other hand, worked on hanging a wreath on the wall opposite the mantle. Even in the same room he seemed intent on moving as far away from me as possible.

  I slipped into the kitchen for a minute, filling a tray with spiked eggnog for each of the men and an alcohol-free one for me. I added a plate of cookies that I’d baked this morning. Bringing the whole lot into the living room, I walked around with the tray of eggnogs and plate of cookies.

  Aogán visibly stiffened as I walked to him, hanging something in the archway.

  I licked my lips, which had gone dry. “Um, do you want one? It’s eggnog. My ma’s old recipe. It’s good. I swear,” I rambled.

  “Yeah, um, sure.” Aogán reached out, then paused.

  “They’re not poisoned,” I said with an awkward laugh.

  His face fell. “It’s not that, I… Which one should I take?”

  “Take any,” I said in a rush, desperate to get away from him and the conflicting feelings he stirred up in me.

  “Hey, mistletoe!” Donncha yelled out with a laugh.

  Aogán and I looked up. Aogán had just hung up a mistletoe and it was right above our heads. My cheeks flushed as the memory of our kiss three years ago rushed through my head. Then of our near-kiss by the creek. My eyes found Aogán’s and he was already staring at me, his mouth parted.

  Yes.

  No.

  I let out an awkward laugh and stumbled back, almost losing my tray in the process. “I’m sure Aogán doesn’t want to kiss me,” I said, hoping my cheeks weren’t so obviously flushed.

  “It’d be like kissing my sister,” came Aogán’s cold reply.

  His words stabbed right through my heart. Was that how he felt about our kiss three years ago?

  The eyes of the other Cassidy boys were on me, so I forced a smile and continued my walk around with the tray.

  Tristan grabbed a cup and a cookie, saying “thank you” in that soft way of his that made me want to lean in closer.

  Donncha grabbed an eggnog and eyed the cookies then me with a wicked look in his eye. “So…” he said in a low voice so only I could hear him. “How many of your cookies can I grab?”

  Cheeky. My already flushed cheeks heated further. “You can take as many cookies as you like, Donncha.”

  “Really?” He leaned in. “What if I told you I want to eat all your cookies.”

  “You’ve…you’ve got to leave some for the others,” I said, pretending I didn’t understand the innuendo he was playing at.

  Donncha pouted before grabbing a fistful of cookies.

  I took the tray over to the table and took the last eggnog glass, pressing it discreetly against my cheeks to cool them down.

  “I swear, you’re going to make us fat,” Donncha said before devouring a whole cookie in a massive bite.

  “This tastes funny.” Tristan’s lips pursed as he stared a
t the glass in his hand. “Did you put enough rum in it?”

  “Oh, that’s mine,” I said, recognising the glass in his hand. I’d deliberately used a different shaped glass for mine. I’d been so flustered after the mistletoe incident with Aogán that I hadn’t realised he’d taken it. I walked over to him and swapped our glasses. “There’s no rum in it at all.”

  “Why not?” He eyed me curiously. Suddenly I felt exposed. Naked. Like my secrets were just lying under the surface, and all Tristan had to do was peel back the thin veneer.

  I attempted a light-hearted shrug. “I just don’t feel like drinking today,” I offered as an explanation.

  His eyes narrowed on me for a brief second before he turned back to his lights. Thankfully it seemed he was letting it go.

  The untangling of the lights was going much quicker now that Donncha was helping. I strung up the lights along the tree as Tristan and Donncha freed them. Aogán was still hanging things everywhere except for where I was. By the time all the lights were untangled and hung on the tree, we’d all finished our drinks and the large platter of cookies was reduced to crumbs.

  “Now comes the fun part,” I announced, and the four of us crowded around the tree, even Aogán—I guess he’d run out of excuses to keep away from me—hanging ornaments every place we could reach.

  I bent down to grab a silver angel ornament from the box, only to let out a gasp as something pinched my ass. Straightening, I whipped around and caught sight of Donncha. The wicked grin on his face left no doubt in my mind about who the culprit had been. He shot me a wink before getting back to the task at hand.

  I glanced around to make sure that the others hadn’t seen, but I didn’t need to worry. They were all busy with the Christmas tree. I bit my lip and hoped that no one noticed the blush on my face as I stepped back over to the tree, next to Tristan. I studied the branches, looking for the perfect spot for this angel.

  “It’d be perfect there,” Tristan said quietly, pointing to a spot above our heads.

  I smiled. I loved how he was always able to read my mind. I don’t think I’d ever felt so…known, so understood by anyone like I did with Tristan.